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Friday, August 21, 2015

Job Offer

God's my first priority, followed by family. I wanted to work, but I didn't want Emily in daycare all day for five days a week if it wasn't necessary. For my family, it isn't necessary. I'm humbled and grateful for my physicist husband who speaks a scientific jargon that rarely makes sense. He understands physics like I understand the written word. He's not into writing, I'm not into physics, but we are madly in love with each other, pursuing a relationship with a holy, matchless, powerful, all-knowing God who reaches down into our microscopic lives, granting opportunities from whispered year-long prayers. I'm humbled.

He hears our hearts desires, and answers them in His time, in His way. I've been praying for the past year, "God, if it's your will, allow me to find a job in which I can pursue my passions without leaving Emily elsewhere. That seems big, but you are bigger. No matter what, I trust you and your plan." 

I trusted Him, but I felt I had to take the lead. So I applied for many positions, ones that weren't even what I wanted to do, because I really didn't think an opportunity existed, especially without much experience. Adding the daycare stipulation to the mix, I doubted. It took months upon months upon months to come to a point where I had to stop. 

Stop. Relax. Enjoy what you already have. Don't worry. Don't stress. Let me lead. I am God. 

I wasn't letting God lead. I wanted to answer the prayer on my own terms with quick timing.

For the past few months, I lived the italicized words the best I humanly could. In that time, my bible began to open more, and His word anchored my longing soul. 

Six weeks ago, I felt lead to reach out to someone at my church regarding tutoring. I'm not sure why. I wrestled with asking. Tutoring wasn't exactly what I wanted to do, but I knew it was possible with our family and wouldn't require Emily going to daycare. She directed me to a contact for an online group in which a could post an ad.

Over a week later, after coming to terms with the fact that no one needed tutored, I was contacted by an academy twenty minutes from where I live. After meeting with them and exchanging a few emails in the last few weeks, I am overjoyed to announce that I will be grant writing as well as instructing students in writing upon certification. God's ways are bigger, far better than mine. He's allowing me to pursue two passions: writing and teaching. I never saw that coming after switching my major a few years ago.

I will be writing from home this year, and next year I'll begin instructing two days a week. And Emily? Daycare is provided at the same location in which I'll be teaching. God provides. He listens.

For those of you going through similar situations, trust Him better than I did. God is holy, matchless, powerful, and all-knowing. We speak this truth, believe this truth, know this truth. Today, let's live this truth. Let's live like God hears and answers the desires of our hearts, because He does.

I'm unworthy of the love God lavishes on a daily basis. The least I can do is share my humbling experience with you in hopes that you'll be encouraged to continue trusting Him.

"Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God:" I John 3:1a 

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