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Tuesday, September 30, 2014

7 Ways To Help Her Through Morning Sickness

She's nauseous most of the day, has lost her appetite, doesn't want to be touched, hates the smell of many foods, gets sick at least once a day, and feels like pregnancy is the worst thing ever. Maybe this sounds extreme to you, but every single one of these defined my life for 10 weeks after finding out we were expecting. Some women don't have any morning sickness. At the time, I was less-than-thrilled with anyone who told me they never had morning sickness. Now that I am out of that phase, I am happy that those women didn't have to deal with it.

Believe it or not men, your role is crucial, especially if she is dealing with these dreaded symptoms. There is no way I could have handled morning sickness without my husband by my side. By week 14, we were physically and emotionally drained, but we were able to be that way together, which allowed me to maintain sanity. 

I must warn you that if you are wanting to help in hopes of feeling appreciated, it's probably not going to happen right away. Give it time. Do anything you know she might appreciate, and I'm certain that one day she will thank you, maybe after the all-day nausea disappears. Below are 7 ways to help her through morning sickness! 


7 Ways To Help Her Through Morning Sickness


1. Tell her you could not go through what she's going through. 

Think you could handle weeks of flu symptoms better than her? Until you've been there, I don't recommend making that assumption. She needs to know that she's incredible for dealing with morning sickness. She needs to know that she's handling it well. She needs to know that you doubt you could handle what she's going through. These words of affirmation are so important. 

2.  Cook for her. 

During pregnancy, smells are enhanced, and because of the new hormones, some things that she used to always eat smell downright disgusting. Raw meats probably are a huge turn-off. Unless she's craving something, she will probably be totally okay with eating bland foods. So, if you aren't the greatest at cooking, don't worry. The fact that you attempt it will mean more to her than anything. Don't be upset if you make something that she thinks she can eat, but then turns off to it when the food finally hits her plate. This happened a few times to us, and while discouraging, we tried our best to stay positive. 

3. Stay positive. 

She doesn't need to be told how complicated she's being. She already knows. Most women with morning sickness are not putting on a show, and after seeing all of the amazing things you are doing, most women are already going to feel guilty about being finicky, lazy, etc. We know it's difficult and wearing on you. You will be doing a great job by being as positive as possible. 

4. Stand by her side while her face is planted over the toilet. 

For some reason, I wouldn't get sick until after I'd already gone to bed. I'd jump up, run to the bathroom, and well, I'll save any other details. My husband is an amputee, and every night, he'd still get up and crutch over to the bathroom even though I told him he could just stay in bed. He'd grab a couple tissues and patiently wait until I had finished, while verbally letting me know that everything was okay. He'd give them to me and then after rinsing and brushing my teeth, I'd head back to bed and he'd hand me a glass of water that we had already taken upstairs. This was the one thing I absolutely did not expect him to do, but he insisted on doing it anyway, and it meant more to me than any other gesture. If you are reading this, chances are you have two legs. You have no good excuse to stay put. Get up, whatever time of day it is, and stand by her side. 

5. Find something you can do that she would not expect from you. 

My husband is a wonderful cook, so when I told him I just wasn't up for it, he quickly took on that role until I began cooking again. I honestly knew he wouldn't mind doing this for me. However, when it came to him waking up at night and crutching to the bathroom when I'd get sick, that meant the absolute most to me. I was reminded of how much he loved me, how much he was there for me, and how much he cared for me. Find that something and do it. It could be as simple as bringing her home some flowers or making her a card. 

6. Let her know how you are feeling. 

While it's important to stay positive and keep from complaining, it is also important that she knows when you are becoming emotionally drained. Don't tell her how you're feeling right after she's gotten sick or refused the spaghetti she thought she could eat. Let her know when you're just hanging out together and when it seems like she's feeling her best. In some cases, she might respond in tears anger, but that's because she's probably feeling the same way too. In other cases, she's going to understand what you're saying, and will be willing to listen. If she's not kissing or cuddling with you, and that's something that you want, tell her when the time is right. She needs to be reminded that you matter too. Of course, don't expect her to just be in the mood then and there. Let her know and hopefully when she is feeling a little better, she can focus on what you need. 

7. Don't tell her that morning sickness will be over before she knows it. 

This is what everyone is saying, and while true, in the moment it feels far from true. Every woman who has already had a baby is likely telling her this, but it's really not all that encouraging, because it feels like morning sickness will NEVER end. Instead say, I hope this is all over soon. I know for a fact she will agree! 


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