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Thursday, October 9, 2014

Am I Pretty Or Ugly?

Am I Pretty Or Ugly?

Today, I watched a TED video titled "Why Thinking You're Ugly Is Bad For You." Of course, I think it's safe to say that every woman has felt ugly or unappealing at one point or another. You know those days. That pimple on your nose will NOT disappear no matter what you do. You woke up not feeling well. Your hair won't cooperate.

Yeah. I've been there too.

I clicked on the video because even though I've had my 'ugly' moments, I agreed with the title. Yes, sometimes I have ugly days, but typically I feel pretty, I look presentable, and I don't let those ugly days define my self-worth. I remember what God thinks of me, what my husband thinks of me, what friends and family think of me, and because of this, I've learned to deal with the bad along with the good.

I completely agreed with everything stated in this video, but there was one thing that I didn't believe. Meaghan Ramsey claimed that girls were uploading 'Am I Ugly' videos onto Youtube.  Stunned by this information, I quickly searched those words on Youtube. Clicking enter, I found page upon page of 'Am I Ugly' videos. I checked out some of them, just to get a feel for what they were about, and in most of them, the girls looked sad. Some explained their reasoning for making the video. There were reasons like: everyone at school says I'm ugly, boys don't like me, I'm trying to look pretty, but I just feel ugly. They upload these videos and wait for the comments to come pouring in. They wait for complete strangers who don't know anything about them, about their true worth, to define their beauty.

Assuming uplifting comments would outweigh any negative comments, I checked to see what people were writing. What I saw brought me to tears. Yes. Tears. I can't even bear giving examples of some of the comments I saw, but I know that these words are cutting jaggedly into the hearts and minds of the girls who post these videos. I know some of you might be thinking "shame on them for posting a video and not being prepared for the worse."

No. Shame on us. Shame on parents, on mentors, on family and friends who aren't saying a thing about true beauty or self-worth. As women, many of us have learned how to cope with feeling less-than attractive. These adolescent girls don't know how to cope, and they are at their most vulnerable years. You remember them. They aren't fun, and kids are mean. I remember coming home from school much of my 7th grade year sobbing into my pillow from the hateful things kids said about me. If it weren't for my mom teaching me how to cope, I wouldn't be the same person I am today. Some aren't lucky enough to have a parent so directly involved in their child's life to know when they're at rock-bottom.

If you are directly involved with adolescents, please please please don't toss this topic to the side, assuming they'll figure it out on their own. Encourage. Educate. Empower. And remember, you are beautiful too!

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